Encouragement and Insight



When I thought about all of the things I wanted to share with the “love, honor and vacuum” audience regarding my (almost) 25 year marriage to my husband, I could not help but make it an encouragement to those who are still waiting for their spouses to receive salvation or even for those who have accepted Jesus, but you, as yet, have not seen much fruit in their lives.

I walked down the aisle fully aware that I was being unequally yoked in marriage.  I was a 25 year old Christian girl who believed I had found my prince charming and did not want to think about the consequences.  I was not walking with God at that time and was choosing to do my own thing anyway.  Like most women, I just believed that I could change my man once we committed to each other at the altar.

As with most marriages, it was not long until the reality of my decision really began to present itself.  I believe that God speaks to us loud and clear through his word and the Holy Spirit, so I had no excuse.  The difference really began to concern me when our first son was born 3 years later.  Having that child made me begin to think about my responsibility for his little soul.  I re-dedicated my life to Jesus and began to grow and change.  That’s when the real trouble began.

My husband could see these changes and began to get resentful.  I was choosing to drink less, watch more appropriate television, study the bible and tithe.  I also voiced the need to begin to take our son to church.  He very clearly let me know that all of this was not what he signed up for.  In his defense, I can imagine that I must have been judgmental and withdrawn at times.  I knew that all I could do was begin to pray for him.

I prayed for seven years and still,  my marriage was slowly falling apart.  My husband turned 40 years old that June and two months later I received the phone call that he was in the ER and had suffered a heart attack.  This was our turning point.  My husband had a King Hezekiah moment that day:

2 Kings 20:1-6The Message (MSG)
20 Some time later Hezekiah became deathly sick. The prophet Isaiah son of Amoz paid him a visit and said, “Put your affairs in order; you’re about to die—you haven’t long to live.”
2-3 Hezekiah turned from Isaiah and faced God, praying:
Remember, O God, who I am, what I’ve done!
I’ve lived an honest life before you,
My heart’s been true and steady,
I’ve lived to please you; lived for your approval.
And then the tears flowed. Hezekiah wept.

4-6 Isaiah, leaving, was not halfway across the courtyard when the word of God stopped him: “Go back and tell Hezekiah, prince of my people, ‘God’s word, Hezekiah! From the God of your ancestor David: I’ve listened to your prayer and I’ve observed your tears. I’m going to heal you. In three days you will walk on your own legs into The Temple of God. I’ve just added fifteen years to your life; I’m saving you from the king of Assyria, and I’m covering this city with my shield—for my sake and my servant David’s sake.’”

My husband promised to give the Lord what was left of his life if he would spare it.  God answered his prayer.  Unlike King Hezekiah, my husband could not recite back to the Lord all the good things he had done for Him.  He only knew that he was a sinner in need of a savior and Jesus could be his righteousness and cover all of his mistakes.

What did I learn in those seven years of waiting and praying?  I learned to guard my mouth and not cast judgmental glances in his direction.  I learned to say something once and then surrender it to God and leave things between the two of them (yes, God can still speak to your spouse even if he is unsaved).   I learned to not quote the bible at him.  I recognized when I was trying to force God to hurry up and answer my prayer.  The most important thing I learned was to praise God in the situation.  I really believe that the praise was what brought my husband to salvation.

Philippians 4:6-7 Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

My husband’s transformation was dramatic!  He soaked up the word daily like a sponge, and began to proclaim the gospel boldly.  He was now a Jewish believer who had found his Messiah!  He would joke that, much like the Israelites, he had wondered around in the desert for 40 years and then he heard the voice of God and came into the promised land.  He prayed for people where ever he would go.  A day did not go by that he would not share the love of Jesus with someone in his path.  He demonstrated the heart of David and would dance and shout before the Lord.  He never cared about who was watching, he only cared about what his Lord thought of him.

His life ended in what seemed much like a King Hezekiah story.  When he received salvation, the Lord asked my husband to do two things.  The first was to preach the gospel to his family and the other was to become a licensed pastor.  He completed those two tasks this Fall.  One week after completion, the Lord took him home. He had granted my husband 16 more years from that day in the ER and then called him to glory.

I want to say to all of you who feel like you have been praying for years and not seeing results, that God hears your prayers.  We have to remember His ways are higher than our ways.  I want you to never give up believing that no matter how old your spouse is and how many years you have been praying, God’s timing is perfect and your spouse has the potential to fulfill all God has for him in a short period of time.  My husband made more of an impact globally in the kingdom of heaven in 16 short years than most people do in their lifetime. He never wasted an opportunity.

I am asking you to NEVER give up hope and even this day begin with a new strength to praise and thank the Lord for what he is about to do in your husband and your marriage in this season of your life.  Don’t allow the devil (or your own thoughts) to cause you doubt, discouragement and defeat.

Let’s encourage ourselves and our Sisters in Christ to never give up praying for those we love, because of the everlasting difference that each and every salvation makes!

Be blessed,


“To everyone who's hit their limit And even when you think you're finished It's not over yet Keep on fighting Out of the dark Into the light It's not over Hope is rising Never give in Never give up It's not over” –For King & Country, ”It’s Not Over Yet” ...#God #Faith #Perseverance This quote courtesy of @Pinstamatic (http://pinstamatic.com):

As far as the east is from the west, our sins are removed from God’s memory. (Psalm 103:12 NIV)


"God says...trust me" - Roy Lessin by Ana1983







  1. Thank You Donna!! I am so glad that i was privileged to be by your side through this entire journey in yours and Eric’s life… you have been a source of Godly example of Grace and patience and Godly Wisdom! Love you!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Unbelievable! Our stories are so similar. We were married 8 1/2 years before my husband was saved. He is now an ordained minister. My best advice to women with unsaved husbands is don’t try to be the Holy Spirit! He doesn’t need our help.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. thank you for this post. I really needed it. I am at the point where I am ready to give up after 17 years of marriage. My husband knows the Lord but he continuously choose the path of destruction.


  4. Very beautifully said, Donna. Yours and Eric’s walks (separately and as a couple, actually) have spoken volumes to many about the faithfulness of God, the treasure of His presence, and the act of laying down ones’ own agenda in order to do His will. He is faithful.


  5. Tearfully and joyfully I rejoice with you over what God did in Eric. You never gave up and God heard your prayer. I watched and saw the miracle transform. What a blessing your marriage is and what a testimony . I encourage all to Stand for their marriage.


  6. What an incredible testimony! What an couragement to everyone praying and believing for their unsaved spouse or loved ones. Eric’s testimony is still alive and advancing the kingdom!


  7. His life’s testimony continues to reach people through your words Donna. What an amazing testimony. Thank you for sharing. I love all your articles. Even though I can’t come council with you in person right now, reading your websites lifts me up until I can come see you again. Love you and lifting you up in prayer❤️!


  8. Your story has been such an encouragement to me. I’ve been married 28 years and thought I married a true believer only a couple years ago my husband revealed to me he doesn’t believe the Bible is the word of God he says things about God’s word that seem blasphemous I have just been reading about King Hezekiah so it’s amazing that was part of your story I feel like I’m praying my guts out and nothing is happening he’s even getting worse I’m trying not to be the Holy Spirit I just can hardly have a conversation about God with him anymore he at least goes to church with me on Sunday but that’s about it thank you for your help and prayers I am so encouraged by her story


  9. Lesli, The most important part you can play in your husband’s life right now is to completely surrender him and all of your thoughts about his salvation to God. When we get our head and thoughts out of their head, then God can begin to do a bigger work in their lives. As a Christian counselor I see this concept work all of the time. God is teaching us to surrender on a deeper level while He is drawing your husband closer to Him. Do not speak the word……show him Christ through your unconditional love and acceptance of him regardless of where he is at in his walk with the Lord. I’ll be praying…..


  10. I married the most grounded Christian man I have ever met almost a year ago.. Just yesterday he said he doesn’t think he believes in God anymore and he does not want to go back to church. I am so lost and so confused. I feel like everything I once knew is changing and falling apart. What do I do?


    • First of all let me say how sorry I am that you are going through this trial. Try to stay focused on the fact that God will use this for good to strengthen you and your husband both as you forge forward in Christ. My first question is did something unfortunate happen in your husband’s life recently? If so he may be wrestling with why God allows bad things to happen to His people. I am attaching a great article from Bible Gateway just in case that is part of the issue. https://www.biblegateway.com/blog/2012/07/why-does-god-allow-tragedy-and-suffering/

      My next question would be does he have a religious relationship with God where he has “gone through the motions” of religion all of his life, but has no REAL interaction with the Holy Spirit? If he does not at least feel as though God speaks to him in His Word, or his prayer time or in Holy Spirit guidance, then he would most definitely begin to feel like maybe God does not exist. He may need to be discipled by someone who does not have limits on God and who is mature in Christ.

      As his wife, you have power and authority in prayer. According to Matthew 18, you have the keys to the Kingdom: 18 “Assuredly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.

      When you pray, bind up anything in your husband’s life that is keeping him from hearing the truth of God’s word and loose the truth of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit over his life in Jesus name.

      19 “Again I say[c] to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.”

      Find a trusted person to pray with. Choose someone who will not judge him or spread gossip, but just hold him up in prayer with you. Finally, each day after you pray for him, surrender him completely to God for the rest of the day and just love him. Don’t try to convince him, don’t try to control him and don’t criticize him. You continue to go to church. If you feel as though a change in churches is necessary, then by all means go for it! Keep me posted as I will be praying for you both.


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