If you have children you have discovered that no two of them are alike. In fact, they are usually polar opposites of one another. As our children grow, we see how each tends to resemble one side of the family more in their physical appearance as well as their personality, etc. Most people also marry their opposite as well. You may have many things in common, yet one of you is usually outgoing while the other is more quiet and reserved. One is usually a spender while the other more frugal. These differences can cause a lot of friction in our marriages or while trying to parent our children.
If we allow it, these relationships will conform us into the image of Christ. We can either be selfish and insist on things our way, which will only cause resentment and bitterness, or we can be unselfish and continue to grow with our partner and our children.
For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.
I know that there are some lessons that I did not complete before my husband passed away. Because my daughter has a lot of his personality and habits, I am still learning and growing as I parent her into adulthood. Many people run their relationships by just barking orders at their spouse or children and expect them to have the same level of commitment, discipline, talent or desire to do certain things that come as second nature to them. I have tried this many times in my own house and the free spirits that live with me have no interest in doing things my way or in my time frame. Many times, they even have a very difficult time making certain necessary things a routine.
Many of my friends complain that their sons hate to brush their teeth and if they don’t say something daily, it won’t happen for weeks on end! One of the ways to correct this is to brush your teeth with them. If you come alongside them and do it in a light, jolly manner it will eventually no longer be a battle. Some people are terrible with time management. If you have this skill work directly with your loved one daily to establish a time frame that can help them alleviate the stress of procrastination.
I have seen the concept in action that the very thing that is irritating you in someone else God is trying to still work out of you as well. None of us are perfect in any area of our lives. If you come alongside someone in love and acceptance as their learn, if you only cause you to get better in that area as well. The bonus is that it will strengthen your relationship with these family members instead of causing a wall of resentment from your silent (or not so silent) resentment and frustration. One of the definitions of the word Parent is: something out of which another thing has developed. So are we expecting our kids to come out of the womb perfected or are we willing to put our flesh aside and do our God-given jobs no matter how frustrating the task? I just want to encourage you today if you are banging your head against the wall with someone in your home, please try coming alongside of them to run the race again. What do you have to lose?
If you have the excuse that you don’t have time to run alongside these people. Guess what…….nothing is more important than family. As we age, we become more and more aware of this. My own family is currently facing a challenge and the only way we will get through it is if we all pull together (no matter what state we live in) and run alongside of our parent, who ran alongside of us for decades.
“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.