My guest blogger has a ton of courage! She is obeying her heavenly Father today and testifying of His great love and mercy toward her. I hope her story blesses you and encourages you to not give up on someone who needs Agape love in order to be healed. I would also ask you to call upon Jesus to inspect your heart today if you find yourself judging her. Two of the most profound statements Jesus said was to let him who is without sin cast the first stone & get the plank out of your own eye so you can see to remove the speck in another person’s eye. May you be refreshed by her transparency!
A JOURNEY FROM SLAVERY TO FREEDOM
I love rainbows. Whenever the sun comes out during or after a storm, I always look for one. To me, they represent God’s promises and redemption for all of His people. When Noah and his family made it to dry land, the Lord used a rainbow as a symbol of His covenant.
“I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be a sign of the covenant between me and you.” ~Genesis 9:13
God’s redemption is such an encouraging thing because it means that no matter where any of us is in life, God wants to redeem us. There is only one sin on this earth that can’t be forgiven and that’s blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. I don’t know about you, but that’s the best news that I have ever come in contact with. The Lord loves us so much that He sent His one and only Son to die a horrible death, just so we can have a relationship with Him. We are made new and don’t have to hold on to the past that the Lord has brought us out from. Scripture says it.
“If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; OLD THINGS have passed away; behold ALL THINGS have become NEW.” ~ 2 Corinthians 5:17
What an awesome thing to know. Some people teach that some sins are worse than others, and sexual sins are normally at the top of that list. They claim that you can murder someone and be forgiven, but the second you have a lapse in judgment and watch pornography, or become a sex addict, or even love someone of the same sex, God can’t save you. Well, I am here to tell you that those teachings are wrong. God can and will save you from sexual sins if you allow Him. I am living proof of that fact. Here is my story of redemption:
Right after I graduated college, I was with a group of friends one night drinking and having a good time. One of my friends, knowing that I was a Christian, dared me to make out with a girl for five minutes. If I succeeded in the dare, He would buy me an entire bottle of Jack Daniels. My need for the alcohol outweighed my moral compass and I gave in to the dare. Little did I know that it would send me into a four year fight with my identity, and my sexuality. I worked at Wonderland at that time and I met another girl who also worked there. We quickly became friends and I started going over to her house a lot. I was in a really bad place in my life so I started to develop these feelings for this girl. I knew they were wrong, but at that point I really didn’t care. I had found a kind of love that I had never experienced before and jumped head first into this relationship. I would rationalize it in my head with thoughts like “God would want me to be happy” and “This would feel wrong, if it was wrong.” I ignored the Holy Spirit inside me. I felt alive and normal for the first time since I was raped at thirteen and, at the moment, that was where I wanted to stay. I was officially enslaved to the feelings of a love that I thought I needed to fulfill me. The relationship filled my desires in ways that I had never experienced before and, pretty soon, this was all I wanted. I was introduced to pornography during this time as well and it quickly became a struggle for me to avoid up until the Lord took the desire away. During a period of four years, there were a couple of these long and painful relationships. In each situation, I considered myself to be a savior to these other girls. The reality of the matter was that I was the one who needed to be saved.
Right after the last of these relationships ended, my life was officially a mess. I was fighting with my parents, depressed and suicidal, and struggling with who I was as a person. I remember sitting in my room one night with a bottle of pills and a knife and screaming, “What’s the point in living if no one loves me anyway?” It was at that moment, when the Lord started to turn things completely around. Ironically, it was the relationship with one of these girls that led me to Praise Tabernacle and to a love that I never knew even existed. These people showed me what the love of Christ truly is. At that moment, the Lord showed me that the love and fulfillment I was so desperately looking for in man could only be found in Him. The last seven and a half years have been full of counseling, and inner healing and deliverance. The Lord has been faithful through it all. “Who is this coming up from the desert, leaning on her Beloved? (Song of Solomon 8:5) It’s me, leaning on Jesus and leaving the past behind. He has completely set me free from the bondage of impure sexuality and pornography and I am never looking back.
What are the things that the Lord wants to deliver you from? Do you have a sexual sin that you are ashamed of? I am sharing all this with you today in hopes that it may encourage someone who reads this. Reach out to the Lord and allow Him to lead you to the path of your Promised Land. Just like the Lord delivered the Israelites out of Egypt, The Lord can deliver you to from anything that ensnares you. All you have to do is ask and He will welcome you with open arms.
“Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them ALL.” ~Psalm 34:19
I want to close by saying this: If you know someone who is struggling with anything, show them the AGAPE love of Jesus that can save them. Love covers all.
So love everyone you come in contact with because you just might be the very person whom the Lord uses to bring them home.