Self-sabotage

Success Starts Here Freeway Style Desert Landscape

In less than two months I will be coming up on my one year anniversary of running consistently without getting off track.  As I reflect on what has kept me from falling off the wagon this time around, I am certain of the following points.

Number one,  I did not jump into running like it was an obsession.  I run three times per week.  This is the number of days I felt God was leading me to and it does not interfere with all of the others things I have going on in my life as a mother, counselor, writer, blogger, etc.  If you have read my posts on longevity part 1 & 2, you know that one of the critical steps to maintaining longevity in any activity (even a marriage) is to not run ahead of God’s leading and to not look back or lag too far behind of His will.  As in so many things in life, it is important to know what God wants you to do for today and to not look too far ahead of yourself.  Every time I tried to increase my number of running days this year, I knew it was not what was best for me.  I am grateful that I stuck to His plan and not my need to prove something to myself or anyone else.

The second key for me to maintaining my running schedule this year was getting in touch with the things that held me back in the past.  I have mentioned before that this is not my first attempt at running on a regular basis.  Why did I fail before?  Self-sabotage!!!!

The definition of self-sabotage is, “A behavior that interferes with one’s goals.”   I had noticed a pattern in myself in my prior running attempts that was unsettling to me.  I would tell myself that I would run to a particular point (i.e., a stop sign, end of the street, etc.) in the distance and just before I would get to that place, I would stop running.  When I finally realized what I was doing, I asked the Lord why I do this and He gently whispered into my spirit that it was self-sabotage.  At that moment I began to look at my life in light of this idea.  I could see many places of not quite finishing what I started many times over and recognized it as a form of self-sabotage.  I always knew it was my fault, but just didn’t want to deal with the fact that I self-sabotaged because I did not feel adequate or worthy to succeed at what I was endeavoring to accomplish.

We all have a past with many reasons of why we may set ourselves up to fail.  A long time ago I chose to accept responsibility for myself and stop blaming my shortcomings on anyone else in my past or present.

As I have broken down that stronghold/thought pattern over the years, it has become a joy to break through my old, self-imposed glass ceiling.  In my running over the past year, as I run past my particular point (goal or set destination), I see in my mind’s eye the old wall of sabotage being torn down brick by brick until there is no longer a recognizable wall.

As I run past my destination, I also consider it a prophetic act.  The Bible is full of small prophetic actions that had huge practical impact of some sort. Perhaps nothing is better known than the hand of Moses against the Amalekites.
In Exodus 17:11-13
And so it was, when Moses held up his hand, that Israel prevailed; and when he let down his hand, Amalek prevailed. But Moses’ hands became heavy; so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it. And Aaron and Hur supported his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side; and his hands were steady until the going down of the sun. So Joshua defeated Amalek and his people with the edge of the sword.

My little prophetic act for myself is to say, “I will no longer be in agreement with self-sabotage in my life” as I run past my goal.  Do you have any areas in your life where you sabotage yourself?  I would love to hear your thoughts.

Be blessed,

Donna

3 comments

  1. I understand the self-sabotage cycle, but it hasn’t been until recently that The Lord has shed light on it’s prevalence in my life. It paralyzed me mentally from receiving the healing, even if it was something minor, the Lord has already given me. It also stunted my faith.

    It is strange to come into this particular revelation and essentially take back the faith that has always been in my spirit. I often felt a disconnect between the wholeness of God’s true spirit in me and my reactions to situations. To recognize the dichotomy was my first alarm that something was not right. I am still learning how to walk in His praise and have a spirit of gratitude. I am excited to know that both the spirit and habit of self-sabotage has already been trumped by His blood! Thank you for your thoughts, it was perfect timing. I am grateful for your obedience and loyalty to the Holy Spirit, you have great wisdom!

    Like

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